A Faint Rose

Excerpt from A Faint Rose

The Princess and the Mage

Once upon a time there was a beloved fairy princess. Even as a child she was clever and curious. As she grew she became wise, beautiful and strong. Every fairy in the village professed their love to her but she declined each and every one. She did not desire love, she desired adventure. Of course, the two are often intertwined.
One day adventure found her in the form of a court mage from the heart of the Fey kingdoms. The court mage was obsessed with another world. A world he called “Rem”. So obsessed with it that the fairies of the village called him Rem. The mage didn’t mind - he’d never had a name before. 
The fairy princess would wait eagerly for the court mage to arrive each day and tell her about his travels. He was tasked by his master to protect the kingdoms. And protect it he did. He fought rogue ankou, wicked tricksters, and even demons. Through his powers he could command any evil spirit to turn away. And he protected all from the specter of Death.
One day he asked the fairy princess to come with him. And without hesitation she did. She saw the wonders of the kingdoms. She saw worlds she never thought she’d see. Together they vanquished any evil that came to their lands. They were perfect.
And over time the fairy princess realized she wasn’t so disinterested in love. In fact now it interested her a great deal. So each day she grew a little. A little taller. A little closer to him. And each day she lingered by his side a little longer. And each day she said his name a little more sweetly. Until one day the court mage saw her just as she saw him. And love blossomed.

The court mage and the fairy princess were unstoppable together. The enemies of their kingdom cowered before them. But the land known as Rem still called to the mage. Tiny cracks were forming between his world and Rem. And things were coming through. So the mage gathered his friends and one by one sent them to investigate the other world. And they did not return.
The fairy princess wanted to see this world, to go on yet another adventure. But the court mage was scared of what lay beyond. He had a perfect home with a perfect life and a perfect partner. He didn’t want anything to change. He couldn’t risk it. So he went alone. To the world of form and change. The world of mortals. 
And in that world he saw Death.
Death had never held sway in their kingdom, but in this new world Death ruled over all. “This is my world, little mage. Long have you kept me from yours. But now the doors are opening. And I will know all kingdoms.” The mage tried to use his powers to command Death to flee but Death only laughed; “I follow no one’s orders. Your magic has made you arrogant. You have grown accustomed to being obeyed.”
Death caressed the court mage’s face, but did not take his life. He sent the mage back to warn his masters of what was coming. 
When the court mage returned he was different.
He was afraid.
The princess and the mage approached the masters of the kingdoms and warned them of what the mage had seen. But the masters waved it away. The cracks were small, and they were mighty. Death and his mortal world did not frighten them.
But the court mage was afraid. He returned to Rem countless times; never allowing the princess to follow. He knew Death wasn’t coming for him but if he risked anyone else they might be lost. He watched the mortals grow from little scurrying creatures to things that took forms like them. They grew strong and clever. And the mage understood. Death wasn’t coming alone… they were bringing these mortals with them to his kingdom.
The court mage was afraid. But most of all he was scared of himself. For in traversing these lands a feeling had stirred in his heart. Admiration? Affection? This world, as terrifying as it was… something about it was beautiful.
Again the court mage warned the masters. He asked them to help him seal the cracks between worlds. And again he was rebuked: “This other world may grow strong. But we are ancient and have had many winters to grow stronger. They will never take this kingdom.”

All the while the fairy princess grew tired of being left behind. She admonished the mage and reminded him that it was adventure that was her first love; and he would be unwise to take it from her. While her love was away she slipped through the cracks herself into the world unknown.
And she did not find it terrifying at all. She met Death but they did not go by that name. They called themselves Change. And Change showed her that the mortal world was a world of life. They revealed to her how the cracks had fed this world the seeds that grew the first trees. How those trees fed the first bugs who fed the first birds. Her friends had not all perished, some had simply chosen to stay in this land of change.
Excited, the fairy princess returned to the court mage and revealed what Change had told her. But the mage was afraid. He warned her that Death was a master of disguises. That Death was trying to trick them into allowing it into their world.
The mage went to the masters a final time. He did not ask for their help. He demanded they give him the power to destroy the other world. To protect them all from Death’s campaign. And for a final time the elder masters denied him. The mage, however, was far too accustomed to being obeyed. Magic coursed through him and with a voice crackling with energy he said; “I command you: give me your power so that I may save our world.”

The mage’s spell was strong. Yet not strong enough. His command failed and the grim reality of what he had done set in. He had used magic against his masters. In the kingdoms of the Fey there was no greater crime.
The masters rose as one and condemned the mage; they reminded him that he had come from nothing and been brought up by them. They warned that he had been blinded by hate and fear. And so they branded him as such. Forever more in this world he would be known as “Rem of Hate”. And he would be banished to that realm he so desperately feared.
Dragged through the heart of his kingdom the court mage was taken to the first crack that had appeared all those years ago. A congression of knights, jesters, and mages followed in his wake; watching in awe at his fall from grace. In pity. Or in anticipation.
One figure pushed through the throngs; one voice rising above the rest. His fairy princess. She rushed to her beloved mage’s side, sword in hand, ready to fight for their love. Before the first blow could be brought down by either side the mage’s voice rang out. “My love, you can’t come with me.”
“But why?!” She retorted; “I’ll follow you anywhere you go. Don’t leave me behind now!”
“I will come back to you, I promise. I will come back to you and someday everything will be the way it was. Just wait for me, please.” The guards grabbed at the mage’s robes, ripping them to shreds.
“No! No, I am coming with you! We can solve this together!”
“Nothing is going to change. I won’t let it. I am going to come back to you. To our home. To where we belong.” spears and swords dug into the mage’s shoulders, but he cared little. So long as he was on this side of the gate he would revive time and time again. It was only when he crossed that dark threshold that he would be bound by Death’s laws.
“I belong with you! Don’t leave me here!”
The mage knew his time was nearly up. He wanted to comfort his love, but he needed to be sure she wouldn’t follow him to the realm of Death. He pulled her into a tight embrace, whispering in her ear a promise. And a most wicked curse.
Did he mean to use his magic on her at that moment? Was it an accident? Or was it pride and arrogance? Does he even know? He did truly believe he would return, if that is any consolation.
He whispered to her, and only her, a single command; “Wait here until I return. I will come back for you.” He pulled away and she tried to follow, but her feet did not move. Frozen in place. Her legs unable to pull themselves forward. The command echoed in her head, overriding any will of her own. Her eyes widened in disbelief as all that she had ever loved was taken from her. As he departed into a world she could no longer follow.
Freedom, adventure, and love.
All stolen.
The court mage turned, taking a scythe from one of the guards he strode toward the crack. In one fluid motion he dragged it across the crack, ripping it open further and further, until the tear measured a dozen feet in length.
“You say you do not fear this new world. Well here it is! The doors are open for all to explore! If I am what you’re going to abandon in their world… imagine what they’re going to send to yours.”
With head held up defiantly, the court mage descended into the gaping rift… and there, for a time, his story ended.
Some curious Fey followed through the rift in the years that followed; some would go on to be called Fey Queens. Others still would build up defenses around the ever growing rifts to defend against the mortal invaders.
The story of where the rift came from, the story of the court mage was quickly forgotten. Rem of Hate was a small, unimportant footnote, after all. Not something worth believing in.

And this fairytale is not about him.

It is about the one fairy in all the realms who remembered him. Who waited for him. Trapped in a single spot, unable to move, until the day the spell upon her was broken.
Robbed of freedom. Robbed of adventure. Robbed of love.
So she waited.
And waited.
And continued to wait.
At first she tried to fight back against the control but as the magic seeped into her mind her will waned. Until she didn’t want to leave. Until the only thing that mattered was the promised day when he would return.
Days became years. Years became centuries. Centuries became millenia. And she waited. She could do nothing but wait. And weep. And think. Think of all the adventures she had had and all the love she had shared. Until the thinking drove her mad. Until past and present blurred together. Until she couldn’t remember when she started waiting, and if it had ever ended. Until she couldn’t remember if the story of the fairy princess was real, or just a story she had told herself to make the passing days less horrible.
She watched as her fellow Fey gradually forgot her as well. Until she was just a marker of some long forgotten event. A mad, rambling guardian standing watch for a day that would never come.

Until it did.

The millenia had passed and the mad fairy waited, as she had always waited. But unlike always a lone figure stepped through the rift. Had his banishment finally ended? Had he found a way back? Was he even real? Or just another delusion. The court mage stepped out of the swirling rift as if from a memory. He was the same as last she’d seen him; still handsome, still tattered, still prideful. He wore a bandage over his eye now, and carried a burden of sadness. Little else had changed.
For the first time since before mortals knew how to record time the fairy’s legs bent and she took a shaking step forward. She should have felt relief; her curse finally lifted. Instead she was gripped with a relentless terror that ate at the remaining sanity she had left. There he was; the object of her singular obsession. Her savior. Her love. Returned back to her as if out of the pages of a story. But she was so different. And so broken.
The weight of a thousand lost lifetimes fell on her. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. You asked me to stay and I did. I wanted everything to be just how you remembered it. But I don’t remember. And I couldn’t fix it and I’m sorry I’ve changed so much and you… you’re just like I remember you and I’m not… I’m not perfect anymore.” Tears welled up in her eyes and fell into the scarred grooves of her face where more tears than stars had fallen. Crying was one of the only things his spell had allowed her to do.
In his eye a hundred thoughts reflected at her. Confusion at first. Then pity. Just barely the glint of recollection. And then remorse. Then opportunity. He knelt before her, wiping away her tears just as he would have done when he was a mage and she was a princess.
“Don’t cry. You are perfect. Just the way you are.”
He said it the way he used to. Like he loved her still. Like he loved her the way she still loved him. But she knew even then that something had broken in him too. Whatever happened in those eons changed his heart, though he’d never admit it. She didn’t care. She was free and everything was back to how it was supposed to be. So she smiled and dutifully followed in his footsteps and played pretend that it was a new adventure.
She pretended he still loved her. 
Though she doubts he’s able to love anyone anymore.